Oh Britney, nothing compares 2 U

News update time again.

“Bald Britney gets new tattoo in L.A.”

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20070217/ap_en_mu/people_britney_spears

You know it, I know it.  A headline like that can only mean one thing:

It’s time for a Joke-Off!

Ready, 1, 2, 3, Go!

-Is this news?  From the photos I’ve seen, I knew Britney was bald long ago.

-Hey Britney.  Demi Moore, Sinead O’Connor, and THX 1138 called, they want their look back.

-When asked why she shaved her head, Spears told reporters, “I just wanted the drapes to match carpet, y’all.”

-Britney’s new hairdo has led many to believe the rumors that Spears is now dating V’ger.

-Reports claim that in response to her new shaved head, Britney Spears will now be sporting the “Macy Gray.”  On a related note, insiders now report that Spears is “extremely single.”

-When told of Spears’ new look, Natalie Portman told reporters, “Sure, but can she do a British accent?”

-Britney’s shorn cranium has led many to speculate that this new, “bull-dyke” look will add further credence to the rumors of Spears’ homosexuality.  When asked for comment, Spears replied, “That’s crazy, y’all.”  The denial would’ve been more credible had Spears not spoken to reporters as she was finishing her meal at “The Pink Taco.”

-In preparation for the release of her upcoming single, Spears performed an impromptu concert [of all new music] on the famous Hollywood Walk of Fame.  After the show, one man commented, “You know I’m not gay or anything, but Moby’s kind of hot.”

And finally…

-When asked how her kids (sons Sean Preston and Jayden James) were reacting to her new hairstyle, Spears told reporters, “Kids?”