Top Ten of the Week: Movie Trilogies

So this was originally supposed to be Movie “Trilogies.” Well, I have been convinced that there are enough true movie trilogies to warrant their own list. So look to the future for a Top Ten Movie Series list. This week, however, is dedicated to those groups of three films that tell an extended story. Not all three films may be great, but together epics unfold, heroes are created, and an everlasting impression is made on those lucky enough to view them.

10. Evil Dead. B-Movie master actor Bruce Campbell. B-Movie (and TV) master director Sam Raimi (don’t let the Spiderman movies fool you). Putting these two together is like putting gasoline on a fire; it’s gonna be explosive, and it’s gonna be awesome. The first two movies are cheese-tastic horror movies and the third is just plain bad, yet has produced so many memorable lines utilized by nerds the world over. So many times have I said “Shop smart. Shop S-Mart.” only to have it fall on deaf ears. Yet, you bust out with a “This…is…my…boomstick!” and everyone revels in the hilarity.

9. Die Hard. Like many trilogies, the first and third in this series are the best. “Die Hard” is a great action movie that boosted Bruce Willis into action hero status and really made him a movie star. “Die Hard: With a Vengeance” still has one of the best villain-caper ideas ever, and like every movie made in Hollywood, it has Sam Jackson in it. Yippie-Kai-Yay Mother Fucker!

8. The Man With No Name. A Fistful of Dollars, For a Few Dollars More, and The Good, the Bad and the Ugly. They sort of became a trilogy after the fact, but the truth still remains that it’s hard to top Sergio Leone’s spaghetti westerns. More to the point, “The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly” is simply one of the best westerns ever made. Clint Eastwood is the best gunslinger ever in film. Lee Van Cleef plays a great creepy bad-guy and Eli Wallach plays a great Mexican.

7. Rambo. If you’ve never seen “Rambo, First Blood” then you need to see it. It’s one of the best action movies ever made. It’s cerebral, it’s brutal, it’s emotional. The second two are perfect examples of the completely ludicrous 80’s action movie style. Some of you may not be aware, but one-man armies going around shirtless, shooting a M-60 from the hip with marksman like precision doesn’t really happen in real life. Also, I don’t how many military operations come standard with compound-bow and explosive tipped arrows. But really, do you care?

6. Terminator. “The Terminator” is another great 80’s action movie with action great The Ah-nold. “T2: Judgement Day” completely changed the face of action movies and became THE standard by which all action films were judged following it. (The Matrix sort of did this, but really it just led to a bunch of copycats) Taking a shotgun out of a bunch or roses; badass. Reloading a shotgun while driving a chopper; badass. Linda Hamilton was like the first bad-ass action chick. Remember when she pumped the shotgun one-handed while pumping rounds into the T-1000; fucking sweet. Now some people dumped on T3, but I actually thought it was an awesome action flick. Terminators just plowing through buildings. Arnold kicking over an ambulance. Finding out that Sarah Connor’s casket is filled with big-ass guns. Arnold crashing a helicopter into the hot-ass new terminator. And it had what I thought was a pretty cool ending.

5. Back to the Future. Great Scott, this trilogy rocks. It’s really heavy. Michael J. Fox, Christopher Lloyd, and Robert Zemeckis. Time travel, DeLoreans, Lea Thompson doing that whole “Sweet and Innocent but hot” deal, and of course Biff. If you don’t like this trilogy you can make like a tree and get out of here.

4. Indiana Jones. Lucas, Spielberg, Ford, and John Williams. Great action. Clever dialogue. And besides, it’s got an archae-fuckin-ologist fighting Nazis. This is one of those trilogies where there’s not really any direct connection between the three films, but all three of them are damn good films.

3. Godfather. I know, I know, nobody really liked the third film that much, but “The Godfather, Part II” was a phenomenally great movie. I’m gonna go on record as saying that it may be the best sequel ever made. That being said “The Godfather is also an amazing film. Remember how I said that T2 changed how action films were made, yeah well the Godfather changed how all films were made. References are made to it all the time and its influences can be seen everywhere. Don’t ever go against the family.

2. Star Wars. I think the only surprise here is that it’s not in the number one spot. Now, of course we’re talking about the original trilogy, episodes 4-6. The first blockbusters, the first Sci-Fi films to not be considered hokey and cheesy. The magazine Wired did an article about everything and everyone that would not be around if not for Star Wars. Here’s a short list. George Lucas. Steven Spielberg. John Williams. Mark Hamill. David Fincher. THX. Pixar. ILM. Your Mom. Now think about how many references and jokes have been made about the Star Wars films over the years. Kevin Smith and Seth McFarlane would be screwed if these films hadn’t been made.

1. Lord of the Rings. I’ve never read the books, but from those that have, the common theme is that they are not disappointed by the adaptation, and that’s pretty damn rare. Another area where these films break the mold is with female appreciation. Let’s face it, this list is pretty wang-centric, but I am continually amazed at how many women, women that typically run away from both action movies and fantasy movies, say they love these movies and even say that they are among their favorite of all time. The extended versions of these films show Lucas how “Special Editions” should be done. The extra features are amazing. The special effects are amazing and the battles are epic and freakin’ mind-blowing. The battle for Helms Deep at the end of The Two Towers is simply awesome. Legolas; badass. Aragorn; badass. Gandalf; badass. Want ever more proof? Open up Word and type Aragorn and Gandalf, they don’t show up as misspelled, which means they’re in the goddamn dictionary. Someday, sit down and watch all three extended versions. Yes, you’ll end up losing a whole day, but you’ll be damn glad you did.